Lexie's Waiting For Me
by vampirediva07
Summary: What is waiting on the other side for Mark?


**A/N: I own nothing. Shonda hurt me...this is how I cope.**

* * *

Five o'clock.

It was time…not that anyone wanted it to be. But it had been Mark's final wish that he not be hooked up like this for longer than necessary before they let him go. Derek Shepherd and Callie Torres came into the room where their best friend lay unconscious and hooked up to tubes. Both sat down on either side of him as the tubes keeping him alive were removed by Richard Webber, who explained the procedure to them though they were all doctors.

They were then given some privacy to say their goodbyes. It was quiet…only the beeping noises of the machines were heard as they gradually began to slow as his heart rate declined and his pulse weakened. People were gathering in the waiting area outside. Jackson Avery, Miranda Bailey, and many various nurses who had known and slept with Mark over the years were all there, peering into the ICU room where he was laying in the bed dying.

"_I love you. Oh God… Oh, my God, that just came flying out of my face. I love you. I just…I did it again. I..I…I love you. I do. I just, I love you," _she blurted out, her tiny hands flailing around as she realized what she was saying. Mark stood speechless as she continued rambling on.

"_And I have been trying not to say it. I have been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and not say it and… Jackson is a great guy. He is. He's gorgeous and he's younger than you, he doesn't have any grandkids, or babies with his lesbian BFFs, and he's an Avery, and he liked me, you know? He really liked me. But it was never gonna work out, because I love you. I am so in love with you. You're in me. You're like— it's like you're a disease. It's like I am infected by Mark Sloan and I just can't think about anything or anybody and I can't sleep. I can't breathe. I can't eat. And I love you. I love you all the time. Every minute of every day. I love you. God, that feels good to just say that. I feel so much better. I love you."_

Tears were already forming in Callie's eyes as she held Mark's hand, Derek touching the other, holding back his own tears. This was a moment that no one had wanted to prepare for and no one wanted, especially after what they had been through the last three months.

The monitor registered no heartbeat before it was shut off and the time of death was called. Everyone outside knew that the once proud and sarcastic manwhore of a Plastic surgeon died of a broken heart.

As he breathed his last breath, Mark felt his body letting go of his spirit as he suddenly stood in the corner of the room, whole and healed. He was wearing his leather jacket and a t-shirt and jeans instead of the hospital gown he had worn for three months. Looking to his best friends…he willed that they get through this and lean on each other and the rest of their family for support. Torres needed to be strong for Sofia and for Robbins, who was having one hell of a time getting through losing her leg. And Derek…he had a family that needed him. Mark knew that one day they would understand why he had to go…why he couldn't live on without Lexie, the one true love of his life, and hoped that they would forgive him for not fighting harder.

Pulling himself away, Mark walked through the hospital without notice…since he was a spirit of sorts now. His first stop was the day care center, where he peeked in on Sofia. She and Zola were both playing in the corner together, trading blocks and giggling like any toddlers would. His daughter was incredibly beautiful and he knew she would be destined for great things, which Robbins and Torres would teach her as life went on. He just hoped that one day she would remember her dad and know that he loved her, dearly, and only left because he knew she would be looked after.

When he left the day care center, he came to a halt outside a familiar place, looking at the door of the Radiology room…somewhere he once spent a lot of time in when Sofia was first born. But the memory that flashed before him in his mind was of much more than that. Lexie had walked in this room when he had been holding Sofia.

"_Oh please don't…this is the only place she'll fall asleep. Turns out, she's just as bored with Radiology as we are. I'll get out of your way."_

"_No no no…you stay," _she insisted with the little laugh that always made him smile. _"Besides I-I haven't really seen her up close yet…she is so much bigger than the last time I saw her."_

"_Eats like a champ. You wanna hold her?"_

"_Oh no no…that's okay."_

"_Oh come on…look at that face. You know you want to."_

"_No it's…it's okay. I'll just wake her and then she'll cry and you'll hate me. Besides, she doesn't really look like she wants to be moved." _

There had been a long pause for a moment that Mark remembered…when he should have said something, but just couldn't find the words to tell her that he loved her. Despite all they had been through, he loved her. And in his stupidity, he lost that moment and chance.

"_I should go…I uh…I'm really happy for you. You seem happy."_

"_I am. I have everything I always wanted…almost."_

The only thing that had ever been missing from his life from then on was Lexie. He had loved her and always would, no matter what pulled and pushed them apart. Even in death, she had been the only woman he ever loved or would ever love. Mark brought himself away from the Radiology room and through the halls of the hospital, people passing through him as they went, going about their business as usual. But he stopped when he reached the lobby, another memory coming to mind.

The other interns in Lexie's class had been gossiping about them and saying stuff behind their backs, which Mark had been fully aware of, but he had ignored it until Lexie kissed him out of the blue, catching him by surprise.

"_Dr. Grey…"_

"_They think that you're taking advantage of me, they think that I'm using you, but they don't know us. They think that we're ugly, but I know that we're beautiful. And we can adapt to a hostile environment."_

She had surprised him in so many ways that he didn't know how he could have lived his life without her. From that moment to showing up at the Archfield and demanding her to teach him…Lexie had always been full of surprises that kept him on his toes and made him grin with pride. Even when she had told him to shut up because he had been teasing her about George, she had really stunned him since she had only been an intern then and he was an attending. Lexie Grey was a spectacular woman that no one would have ever replaced in his heart.

Wandering some more, Mark found himself in another hallway with another memory, one which tore through his heart because it was yet another of many lost chances and lost moments with her. A moment he wished would have ended differently.

"_Lex, I'm still in love with you. I tried not to be, but it didn't work. And Sloane's gone. There's no baby. And I don't wanna sleep around. I want another chance. I'm in love with you."_

"_Karev...he's...Mark, I have a boyfriend."_

"_I know. I'm saying you could have a husband."_

And God knew that he wanted to marry her. He had thought about it so many times before, but the timing had never been right…or she hadn't been ready or something else was getting in the way. But he had wanted to marry Lexie and settle down with her. It didn't matter to him that they were sixteen years apart or that they had both made their mistakes in the past…everything seemed so petty in the end when he was faced with the loss of the woman he loved more than anything or anyone.

The pain of that memory caused Mark to turn away and retreat down the hall, wondering if he was in some sort of hell…one that he deserved to be in for letting the love of his life slip through his fingers so many times because of his stupidity; A hell where he would relive the memories of their lives over and over again to remind him of how badly he had failed Lexie and how he had let her down so many times before. Part of him knew he deserved to be in a hell like this for all the wrongs he had done. He had pushed her away, tried to force motherhood and grandmotherhood on her before she was ever ready to consider those options, made her feel like he was constantly leaving her behind, and broke her heart…all things that he knew he deserved to be punished for.

"Mark?" a soft voice called from the madness of his thoughts, bringing him back as he knew who it belonged to.

Turning around, he saw the beautiful brown eyes and innocent smile of the woman he loved, standing in an empty hallway. The cuts and bruises were gone and she was healed…whole and complete, the way he remembered her being before the plane crash. Mark knew that he wasn't in hell then because Lexie couldn't have been here if he were because she was far too innocent and kind to ever end up in hell.

"Lex…" he breathed, unable to believe it was really her until his hand rested on her cheek and he kissed her passionately. "It's…you."

"I've been waiting for you," she murmured against his lips, looking up into his eyes. "I wouldn't move on without you."

"And I couldn't go on without you," he said, holding her in his arms for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

"I know…and they…" Lexie said, nodding to their family and friends that were just now coming down the hall. "…they're going to be alright, Mark. We'll always watch over them."

"Always."

"We…we didn't get the life that we were supposed to have together, but we still have forever…and I want to spend that with you. I love you and I've always loved you," she said, holding his face in her palms.

"We're gonna be happy, Lex. You and me. We're gonna have the best afterlife, Lexie," he promised, kissing her again. "Because we're meant to be."

A wider smile crossed her lips. "Meant to be."


End file.
